For You

Here’s an invitation to imagine your last, peaceful moments. Do you want people around? Want to be alone? Want music? Quiet? There are no wrong answers here. This is all about what YOU want.

These are things that we sometimes avoid thinking about, but really, once attempted, it brings a sense of peace. These decisions don’t have to be made in stone right now. Feel free to gently mull it over. Get a general idea about your feelings, then talking about it feels more like planning than like fearing. We ALL get to do this one last adventure. Why not give it some thought time?

Start Right Where You Are

Where are you with thinking and talking about your inevitable passing. Fairly comfortable? Never talked about it? Talk about it a lot? Nonchalant? Fingers-in-your-ears-nah-nah-nah-nah? Scared?

Good news! ANY of these places is A-OK!

It’s a good idea to think about it from time to time, but you know that deep down. Just remember…thinking about death does NOT speed its arrival.

I Went to a Death Cafe

The name sounds a little brash, but it’s really the most supportive and safe space for talking or listening about life and death. I’ve known of these wonderful events for a while now; they’re typically a small gathering over coffee and little snacks. But in their new incarnation, we’re online–and that makes it all the more accessible!

Death Cafe is a global, voluntary organization that works as a structure for completely unstructured event where anyone can visit with others and talk about life and death. Their website says “Our objective is ‘to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives’.” It’s all confidential, respectful, and feels so supportive.

I’ve met the most wonderful people from all over the world. I’m sure the motives are as varied as the attendants, and have felt so honored to speak with folks that are terminal, folks that have lost loved ones, folks that are caring for terminal loved ones, and also folks that just want to talk and learn about death as it applies to every living human.

Thank you, Death Cafe! You are such a needed organization. I find myself inspired to host one soon…maybe I’ll see you there.

100 years and a Sweet Passing

As it would happen, I was lucky enough to be invited to join the sweetest 100 year old for her transition. What a blessing! She wasn’t sick at all, took no meds, and had a full life behind her. To be a part of the loving family that surrounded her was such an honor!

She moved to Costa Rica, with a huge smile on her face, the day after her 100th birthday celebration! Warm days, bird watching, reading, eating grilled cheese sandwiches, and watching glorious sunsets passed the time. Music, hand-holding, and sweet exchanges were all around.

The slowing changes were seen and noted; everyone adjusted accordingly. She was never alone. The end was a continued withdrawal and slowing that progressed to a peaceful, sleeping passage. Textbook perfect for her and the family, and spiritually quite moving for me.

We lovingly washed and readied her for her journey home to Georgia at a slow and deliberate pace. A completely beautiful process; I’ve never experienced anything like it. I cannot express my gratitude with words. I hope to continue to practice this work as a living, loving tribute to this experience.

The Journey Begins

This path has found me, and I am so grateful! At the INELDA course in February of 2018, I felt deep feelings of “Yes! That makes so much sense!” as we learned each progressing step. Listening. Hearing. Encouraging. Reviewing. Acting to comfort. Sitting. Being. And Allowing.

This is an amazing process. A natural process that knows what to do. We can ride along comfortably, if we pay attention.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton